After receiving e-mails about our Labor Day ant cake, we decided to post the details of the arduous process. Maybe you’re a mom with a toddler who loves ants and you need a special birthday cake. Maybe you’re just weird like us.
1) Bake three round 9″ cakes. Chocolate is best. But you probably already know that. Maybe you prefer lemon, but that would be wrong here. Cherry? You are twisted. Please send us a photograph of your finished product.
2) Assemble the three cakes end-to-end in a straight line. Regardless of your cake flavor, chocolate frosting is required. We used dark chocolate frosting because we are very health-minded and have heard that dark chocolate has antioxidants. Seriously. It’s true. We read it on the internet. As we were eating dark chocolate. Trying to find out what “˜antioxidant’ means.
3) Line up six sticks of thick black licorice. We use Red Vines black licorice. I know… we just blew your mind. Red Vines are red. But they also make black ones. Use the black ones. Do not use Twizzlers, because Twizzlers are terrible.
4) Using a really tiny band saw (or a butter knife), cut half-way through the middle of each licorice stick. This is so that you can bend the legs away from the cut, so that they appear segmented. What? Did you really think we would make a morphologically errant ant cake? We are professionals here.
5) Frost the licorice sticks. It’s a little tough, but the darkness of the licorice is forgiving.
6) Take your chocolate-frosted Red Vine black licorice sticks and stab them into the middle round cake as indicated in the illustration.
7) Use thin black licorice whips as antennae (Don’t frost them. It ruins the reception.)
8) MOST IMPORTANT: Serve the ant cake on a red and white checkered vinyl tablecloth. This is for authenticity, and to make the cake taste better. Children find it delightful. Grandmothers find it disconcerting.
That’s it. The whole ant-chilada. You are now an ant cake queen. Please send us pics of your cake being enjoyed. And send us ideas for other bug-related food stuffs.